The Grief Process

I can only imagine the pain and agony associated with a parent losing a child.  Accidents and disease take their tolls daily, and unfortunately our kids are sometimes the victims.  Our family has had serious disease issues in all three of our kids, but we praise God regularly that they are still with us and functioning as normal mature adults.  Each of those events brought us as parents to appreciate how delicate life can be, and to constantly keep the prayer lines open.

Today I read a story about a family losing a teen-aged son in an automobile accident.  The young man had made it to the hospital in an ambulance, but from the beginning of the ER diagnosis,  the family was given  little hope for his recovery.  In less than an hour, he died.

This was a Christian family, one that you would see almost every Sunday in church.  He was a kid from the youth group, always friendly, fun-loving, well mannered, just the picture of one that would some day marry and raise a family.  But now, his grieving family stood beside his lifeless body, as a hospital chaplain prayed, and his family sought answers.

The father said over and over, "It's not supposed to happen like this."  He tried calling out to God but in those moments he was angry with God.  When the words did come from his lips, nobody in the room could blame him for his anger.  "God, you blessed me with a son and now I stand by a bed and watch him take his last breath.  Why, God?   Why?" 

As I said in the beginning paragraph, we can only imagine the pain and agony associated  with losing a child.  Let me also tell you it is a time when even the closest of friends and relatives search for words to say.  The right words escape us and we sometimes fumble and mumble things we have heard in other situations like this.

It was a few agonizing days after the accident, as this grieving father was spending some quiet time, he realized something very important.  He was not the first father to watch his son die.  Something stirred his thinking in the direction of God's son, dying on the cross, as the Father watched, and grieved.  His death was paying the sin-debt for all mankind, yet the pain of grief continued.

Yes, the grief of the father in our story, and the grief of his family continued, but this father connected with the Heavenly Father in a way he had never imagined possible.  He could face every agonizing moment God was with him, understanding him, loving him, and strengthening him.  He later confessed, "My new relationship with God allows me to understand what being a father really means.  I can face the days and sleepless nights ahead because of my connection with the Father above."

I have heard that grief affects us all differently, but in this case, the loss of a son brought about greater understanding of life, and death, and grief, and healing.  The doubts and fears were no longer present in his life.  Instead, he learned to walk with God, allowing God's direction and guidance.

When we lose a loved one, the greatest of blessings come when we allow God access to our entire being.  Yes, we may have good and bad days in the grieving process, but God will never leave us, and through his love, we learn real hope and real healing.   God bless.

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